So it’s been exactly 2 weeks and 4 days since I officially finished my undergraduate degree and with it my time at univeristy.

In that time I’ve moved from Wales back home to Scotland, started up my own Etsy shops, applied for numberous jobs and spent a long time cuddling my cat.

I was at university for 3 years and it took 2 and half years for me to find my comfort spot and to start properly enjoying uni for everything that it was. Finishing was a very bizarre and anti-climactic experiance. My friends and I were all on different courses and doing different classes with different deadlines so we didn’t finish together, after my final assesment was handed in I had very little to occupy my time apart from slowly packing up three years of my life: a tough task.
My last few days in Wales were spent wandering round the town with my parents, eating ice cream and getting sunburn. We then spent 9 long hours in a transit van travelling back home.

I can’t lie, it felt really good to be home but now I’m at home while my parents are at work wondering what to do next. I’m really enjoying Etsy and hopefully that will keep growing stronger but I haven’t quite managed to get into a routine yet. It still feels slightly like I’m just home for a few weeks.

In terms of Etsy, it is going really well, my Harry Potter inspired ties have been selling really well in the lead up to the final film release in July. The orders for those will probably peter out after the film but at least it’s a bit of income for now.  My biggest struggle right now is keeping up my motivation enough to get more things for the shop made. I’ve been inspired by the great news of my best friend’s pregnancy to make some baby blankets and things its just finding the energy. I knew from how I felt when college finished that I was going to feel a bit wierd and low after uni finished especially after how anti-climactic but it doesn’t stop me from feeling like that.

I did intend this to be a positive post but it seems to be more pensive than anything.

Oh well, I guess that’s all I have to say for now. I’ll hopefully post up some samples of Etsy stuff soon 🙂

Also here is a link to my shop Wednesday’s Child on Etsy

See you in the future! ♥

Yesterday marked the two year anniversary of my gran’s death.

She died on Friday the 13th 2009.

I was hoping to go home for the weekend but due to lack of funds and timetable clashes I had to stay at university. Even now it’s hard to process the fact that she is actually gone. Her decline in health and death were long and drawn out. She had been battling with alzheimer’s and various related illnesses for years. In fact I had not seen or spoken to her for at least three years before her death. I still feel incredibly guilty about this. But at the time, I didn’t have the courage to visit her in hospital or in the care home and see the strong, funny and unfailingly kind grandmother I had grown up with change into a frail old woman who could barely remember her children and partner let alone her grandchildren.

I love to hear stories of what she was like before I was born, before I knew her. My dad talks of her being a force to be reckoned with and the delight my papa took in tormenting her just for the sake of a giggle.

My memories are somewhat more sedate but I remember hot chicken soup, mini kitkats and bourbon creams from the biscuit tin (which was always made available during your visit) to the toffee hammer and tray which sat next to the fire place, whose lack of toffee always struck me as odd.

I remember the laughs we had about my dad’s graduation photo which hung proudly on the wall of her living room no matter what house she moved to. And the china figures. I remember dad buying a new one each christmas or birthday and seeing it dust free sitting on her shelves the next time we visited. Many of those figures now sit in our home, protected in memory.

I remember her neat writing in the chrsitmas cards every year. I remember the furry rug that sat in front of the fireplace, inviting me to sit and play. I remember going to Vogrie Country Park for long walks with her, my parents and uncle.

I look at what my life is now…where I am: 22 years old, a couple of months away from graduation and in almost all respects a grown up. And I wonder if she would be proud of me; would my graduation photo have hung in her livingroom too? A friend of mine remarked recently that he wished he had spent more time talking and listening to his grandparents when they were alive. That’s a truth which I now accept, if I had the chance again I would ask her everything and anything. I would have gone to the hospital and the care home, would have swallowed my stupid fear and said goodbye properly.

I am glad that in the end she was surrounded by people who loved her, in a familiar place. I’m glad my uncle performed the funeral service and showed courage and love in the way he spoke of her. I’m glad I got the chance to know her.

 

♥

My first week of lectures in my last semester of university.

It is kind of anti-climactic since I only have classes on a Monday, Tuesday and Thursday. By 11am on a Thursday I’m done with scheduled learning. This is not counting my dissertation however, which I have tentatively begun but I’m sort of puttering around the starting line.

In my attempt to not get stressed by anything/very little this year I am trying to ignore the niggling voice in my head that keeps pointing out that most of my friends have now had their first supervisor meetings about dissertations whereas I have made contact with my supervisor only to be told I’m moving too fast and he’ll get back to me.

But enough stress or attempts at avoiding it. I haven’t updated here in a couple of weeks because…no real reason really. I was getting things organised for starting classes again, trying to find books for my diss and generally just lazing about. I’ve been learning to play pool.( being taught by my housemates) and have since made my first social outing to the student union bar albiet on a friday afternoon when it was very quiet but I like to think of it as baby steps. We spend this afternoon at the arcade on the pier then played a few games of pool in another bar (again it was empty but it still counts). I guess I’m trying to be as sociable as possible right now as pretty soon I’ll be bogged down in a ton of work, my housemate will be back at rehersals and I’ll not see the other two who will also be locked in their rooms writing their own dissertations.

I don’t want to look back on the entire experiance of university and think I wasted opportunities to try new things and attempt in part to overcome my social anxiety issues even in small ways.

In other good news, I booked my tickets to Canada so I’m definately going in October for a whole month. I am so freaking excited by this prospect. I have a print-out of my tickets pinned on my noticeboard above my desk to remind me of the good things to come when I get so depressed over my upcoming essays that I just want to curl up in a ball and cry. I may not have a definate plan of where I want to go career wise just yet but at least I’m making plans. 🙂

My tasks for the next couple of days include:

– Trying to finale my group for documentary production.

–  Watching Battleship Potemkin and making notes for my diss (also possibly watching Strike and Kino-eye)

– Swimming again.

– arranging a time to meet up to give my friend her 21st birthday present.

This should be managable. 🙂

See you in the future! ♥

So after a fairly unhappy and upsetting last week at home which ended with a rush trip to the vets to say goodbye to one of our beloved cats I’m now back at uni and ready…Ready for what exactly?

Well aside from the fact that my plans for editing this week fell through, its been a fairly productive and successful two days back.

Our editing slot is re-booked for Wednesday and Thursday; I got my essays handed in OK and on time (I never quite trust the posting it thing) and I got my first Documentary essay back with an extremely respectable and somewhat awesome mark of a 65. Especially awesome considering I thought I would fail it. Oh and I also had a productive trip to the job centre.

As I am planning a trip to Canada in the autumn I need to start saving my holiday fund. Today I spent some time going over my C.V. updating bits of it, adding to my personal statement and writing covering letters. I have got applications for sales assistant posts stamped and waiting to be sent off but most importantly I applied for a job with the BBC!.

I’m extremely excited about this because although it’s not directly linked to the costume department it is a step in the right direction. It is a “studio opener” for the BBC Wales studio on the university campus. It would basically entail me opening up the studio, showing people around and setting up the equipment for broadcasts. Its only temporary but I don’t really need anything more than that!

Boosted by the confidence of getting in that application I finally got my personal statement and C.V together enough to send off to LionTV a production company based in Glasgow and London. They are responsible for one of my favourite TV shows Victorian Farm so it would be amazing to even get contacted by them let alone work for them after graduation.

So after feeling really rubbish all weekend and then the crazy frustrating day of failed editing that was yesterday I’m finally feeling brighter and looking forward to the term ahead. Even if that does mean writing a 10,000 word dissertation.

See you in the future! ♥

 

So for my first project post, I decided to focus on something I’ve already made instead of a work in progress. So the first post is to show off my Gryffindor costume, obviously from the Harry Potter fandom.

Over christmas I finally got my hands on the patch for the robes so I was able to complete them.

To make these robes I searched for ages through Live Journal and google to find a pattern to use; unfortunately I couldn’t find one I liked enough to alter but I did happen upon this site which gives a very clear step by step guide on how to alter a bought pattern to make the robes.
Instead of using a bought pattern I drew up a basic body block to fit my size using my Winifred Aldrich book and altered it using the steps on the website.

I used basic black poly-cotton for the outer and red for the lining. It is fully lined, including the hood.

As described on the website the hood is pointed and sits at the waist.
As a finish I added an internal wand pocket, which sits at my waists and is close enough to pull the wand out without too much trouble.

The robe was sewn both on an electric machine and using a hand crank machine. The pocket was hand stitched.

To make the closures, I fitted a small hook-and-eye closure to the inside of the robe, used a DIY covered button, covered with left over black fabric and black cord to make a frog.

The frog is stitched onto the robes on one side and attached at the opening of the robes. looping over the other button to give the llusion that it holds the robes together.

An example of the finished robes with the patch stiched on, sitting just below the frog.

It looks like its sitting awkwardly but it is just the way it lies on the mannaquin. 🙂
And a photo of the finished costume (although minus the patch)

To finish the costume I made a couple of ties. My first attempt with making a tie was in the style of the first two movies. Using an old tie from my dad’s collection I took a pattern and cut it out in dark red/scarlet satin. I then stitched gold ribbon across it by machine. I then hand stitched it all back together.

Unfortunately, it did end up a bit long, because working on the bias is extremely hard, but you live and learn. My next tie was more successful. For this I went for the 3rd movie onwards tie. It took longer as I used thin ribbon with a slightly thicker one to match. Again this was fiddley especially keeping the ribbon straight and even. But I think it turned out well, it isn’t as long and sits better when I’m wearing it.

To finish everything off I made a wand for myself. This is my second attempt, the first I made of willow which I whittled, then stained with ink and varnished. The handle was wrapped in leather thonging. For this one I used a piece of hazel which I whittled then varnished, the handle is wrapped in red ribbon.

Anyway I hope you guys like the costume. One of my favourite things about sewing and costuming is making the pattern up as I go along, and then it turning out successfully 🙂 I have plans to perhaps sell robes and/or ties like this in my Etsy shop.

See you in the future ♥

I have trouble with adventure.

For many years now I have strugggled with the idea of being spontaneous. I think it, along with many of my other issues links back to being bullied and the roots of my social anxiety. It is one of the reasons I hate airports, although I travel on my own frequently now and have travelled to Canada and back on my own I still struggle being in those situations just as when I began travelling to and from university by train I had to have a plan set out in my head of when and where I would be. All my life I have had plans and very firm ideas of what I want to do and how I’m going to get there. I have for many years lived my life by lists.

But as I was coming back from Glasgow today it occurred to be that many of my once firm plans have never come to fruition.

I had planned for many years to become a costume designer. I remember being in 3rd or 4th year in high school and attending the degree shows at the Edinburgh College of Art. Sitting on the lawns having lunch I instinctively knew that this was where I belonged. This was my future. So I made a plan: do my higher and advanced higher art; finish 6th year and head to ECA to study Performance Costume. That was to be my life for the next 5 years.

But then by the end of 5th year things had changed. I was fed up with school; I was itching for something new and challenging and by then I had begun to have doubts about ECA. I began looking at other universities, other possibilities. Then my best and favourite teacher, my art teacher in fact, left just as I was heading into my final year. This was the change point. I decided that summer tht I would leave school early, and as my parents gave me two options: Go to college or get a full-time job, I chose education, more learning.

I started Telford College in 2005 studying Theatre Costume Interpretation. This changed my life. Alot of the negative effects my experiances at school had had on me began to heal and change. My confidence grew and I finally knew that this was my path in life ( I know how ridiculously cheesy that sounds but it was true).

By Christmas of 1st year I had ideas in my head of working on Doctor Who, of leaving college and going into the industry straightaway.

But again, things changed. By Christmas of 2nd year I had found a course in Cardiff in Theatre Design I had always struggled with picking one thing I loved doing above everything else but this course seemed to be offering me it all. It was decided, even before I had visited the university the following February: I would go to university in Cardiff, but first I would take a year to do my portfolio. That was to be the next 4 years of my life.

Then Cardiff rejected me. Then I rejected (it was mutual rejection) my second choice of Rose Bruford in Kent. Then my third and final random choice rejected me. But I wasn’t worried. I had my lists and I had a plan, I would spend the next year working on my portfolio to make it better, work in the industry a bit, gain some experiance and try for Cardiff the following year.

But I realised I couldn’t wait another year before starting university. So I found Aberystwyth. I found that I could do Theatre Design and English Literature as a joint degree. I was sold. So new plan: head for Wales and get a joint degree in things I love to do.

2 and a half years later the plan has once again changed. I’m in the middle of my final year doing Film and Television Studies.

I guess my constant is that I still want to be costume designer but I also want to be so much more aswell.

What I am attempting to say in a long-winded way is that I spent years with solid plans, with firm ideas of where my life was headed. But now I’m standing at a crossroads (pardon the cheesy cliche) and I don’t know what my plans are. I know vaguely where I want to go in terms of my career but I’m clueless on the rest. At one point it scared me. I have lots of friends graduating with me, many of whom have decided their plans for the next few years, possibly for their entire careers. But I, for once don’t have a plan. I can’t formulate a list.

When I travel to and from university on the train now, I am very often stress free. I know where I’m going and I know how to handle the problems that may arise. I can handle the journey like an adventure.

And finally, FINALLY I am beginning to see the rest of my life as an adventure, not a plan, not set in stone with lists and rules I must follow. I have a short term plan: open an Etsy shop and go to Canada to see my best friends. But aside from that I have no idea. I’m headed for an adventure and finally I’m excited 🙂